For the last month or so I kept noticing that the first two lines of Emily Dickinson’s poem “Death” were occasionally passing through my mind, like the crawl on CNN. I am very fond of Emily so I was simultaneously intrigued and curious. Last Friday evening I received a phone call that began with the words, “Are you sitting down?” One knows from experience that nothing really fabulous is going to follow that introduction, right? And so my father left the planet Earth. I was immediately filled with an immense and expanded sense of gratitude that this man had been my father. He was a writer. He had been an advertising executive. And I fell very close to that magnificent tree. Most of my posts were read to him over the phone before posting. He was a big fan. When I called him he would notice the phone ID and answer, “Is this the author, Kathryn Hall?” Very endearing as you can imagine, my dears.

This Sunday I had planned to celebrate my next birthday. I had already decided and advised old, close, dear friends that I would share my birthday with my daughter, having just returned to Northern California, as my readers know, after a ten year absence. I had planned to order our traditional Princess cake and ask the bakers to put across the top “FULL CIRCLE CELEBRATION.” We are proceeding with this celebration. But now there will be three candles, not two. And the candles will now honor three generations of writers, completing our various circles simultaneously: I for having gone around the sun one more time; Antonia for returning to her roots; and my beloved father for having finished his time on our precious planet Earth. We will be blessed to be surrounded by the dearest of women who have witnessed with us all the stages and acts life has to offer: great comings, great returnings, births, deaths, marriages, and the growing up of our children together, and not so together. The full gestalt.

I have been working nearly compulsively in my large garden almost since hearing of this passing. You can imagine. I know in my heart of hearts and give the deepest thanks that our Earth always stands beckoning us with her bounteous gifts and unconditional love and healing. She is our ultimate Mother. We sing of her blessings. Yes, we sing of her blessings. And we reap them each time we choose to turn to her. She wraps us in her Earthy arms and protects and advises and nurtures us. And we are so blessed.

Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.
We slowly drove, he knew no haste,
And I had put away
My labor, and my leisure too,
For his civility.

We passed the school, where children strove
At recess, in the ring;
We passed the fields of gazing grain,
We passed the setting sun.

Or rather, he passed us;
The dews grew quivering and chill,
For only gossamer my gown,
My tippet only tulle.

We paused before a house that seemed
A swelling of the ground;
The roof was scarcely visible,
The cornice but a mound.

Since then ’tis centuries, and yet each
Feels shorter than the day
I first surmised the horses’ heads
Were toward eternity.

–Emily Dickinson

In honor of Nelson Wesley Hall (1921-2009)

Tend your hearts.

Love and many blessings,
Kathryn xoxoox

Posted on March 10th, 2009 by Kathryn
Filed under: People at Life | 63 Comments »

Antonia, May Day, Amsterdam, 1976
Those of us who are parents know that the greatest treasure we shall ever tend, prune, feed and nurture are our children. No doubt. My (still forthcoming) book Plant Whatever Brings You Joy is dedicated to Antonia, the most precious flower in my garden.

So you will understand me when I tell you how amazing it’s going to be, that after living her life at the south end of a very tall state of California for ten years, Antonia is returning to Northern California, to her roots, to grad school, and to further growth and expansion. Wow! So yesterday I was both charmed and touched when she posted the following and I promptly asked her if I might include as a Guest Post. She generously agreed. (Thank you, Antonia, precious girl!)

For everything that lives is holy, life delights in life.

I was on my way out of the market, purchases made in preparation for the feast I would make that night, when I saw the little rose plant. I had wanted to place something Lovely on the table, but hadn’t seen any cut flowers which spoke to me. No. This was far better, as I could watch it grow, instead of having to toss it in the trash in a few days time. And, it was so cute, in its little metal bucket! 😀 I Loved it! I picked out a sweet, rosy red coloured plant and headed back to the checkout counter, completely oblivious to the Wonderful lessons this dear little life form would impart upon me.

The first revelation occurred a month or two after its purchase. Happily settled into its place in the sunny kitchen window, my little rose plant was blossoming Beautifully! I was enjoying cooking for a friend, who gazed upon the plant, and remarked upon its two blooms, “This one is doing better than this one.” Hmmmm… While I understood what he was saying, as one bloom appeared to have more Life left in it than the other, I suddenly understood the circle of life in a whole new way. If all is a circle, than how can one point in the circle be any better than another point? Does God/Goddess/Source see a diamond as Better than a pebble? I’m venturing to guess not. All is equal, Beautiful and Perfect, right?

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden.

I have such an appreciation for babies! Don’t you just Love baby energy? They are so new and fresh and have not forgotten who they are, nor been tainted by misconstrued human thinking. 😉 *giggle* And, I so admire and respect crones, for the Beautiful Wisdom they carry and Lovingly share. Is one Better than the other? Of course not! ‘Tis all just part of the circle of what is, has been and all~ways will be.

Einstein told us that energy can be neither created nor destroyed, so I do wonder how death of the life energy within can come to an end. Perhaps all life really does end where it begins, begins where it ends and reincarnation is just eternity in slices?

In nature the life-death-rebirth cycle is clear as we watch flash fires ignited by lightning level the prairies. It may appear that all life is gone, lost to the ravages of flame and smoke, but within days, tiny green shoots begin to poke above the surface of the soil. Mother Earth has cleared the land for new life. Even in my garden I sense the seasons and the cycle of life-death-life. Perennials planted in my yard years ago go through their seasonal life span: a new green shoot, a blooming tulip, soon gone, but the bulb below the soil holds all the necessary ingredients for repeating the cycle again next spring.

The second lesson my little rose plant taught me occurred in the past few weeks. I had departed for a Holiday visit to my BeLoved Northern California and my rose plant did not fare very well while I was gone. Uhhh ohhh! Upon my return I discovered that there was very little left of my plant; there were no buds, or even leaves, only a few little branches sticking up from the dirt. Well, it is Winter after all, and surely, like the barren trees outdoors, the energy is building beneath ground, ready to burst forth in Spring, right? I had meant to transplant the little darling and now seemed the perfect time to do so.

I chose a soup bowl which, with its chipped bottom, was no longer going to grace the table, but with the words “Fleurs de Paris” across the side, seemed ideal for my little rose. I placed rocks in the bottom to ensure drainage and chose to use organic dirt (lesson learned from my herb pot date last spring! hehe). I gave my rose some water, placed it in a new sunny location and waited. Wow!! It Thrived! Quickly! Lovely! Lovely! I knew there was Life in her! She just needed proper room for growth! 😉 Perhaps a combination of some winter’s rest, and transplantation? And, as I am about to embark upon my 44th move, it felt like a Gorgeous reminder of how being in the right environment with room for growth can allow for blossoming. 🙂

The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.

Love and blessings,
Kathryn and Antonia xoxoxo

Posted on February 22nd, 2009 by Kathryn
Filed under: Non Sequitur | 24 Comments »